The Taco Bell Bum

As we give thanks this holiday season, it is important that we take a moment and remember those less fortunate than us.
This said, I would like to take a moment to honor a special man, one who will forever hold a place in my nightmares.

Scene: Sunday night, Taco Bell drive thru
Cast: BFF Jill, Me, Taco Bell Bum, Taco Bell Queen

It is a chilly November night. Most are home with their families, preparing for the upcoming Thanksgiving festivities. Jill and I sit in the Taco Bell drive thru, impatiently waiting for our goodies. As Jill carries on the conversation, I feel something is amiss. I look over...and there is a man standing at my window.

Frightened...I stare straight ahead, avoiding any contact with this yelling being. Meanwhile, Jill attempts to tell the man to kindly eat sh*t and die.

Soon, the man has moved to the other side of the car, and finally, decides to leave after about 5 minutes of yelling for some unknown reason.

Jill and I pull forward to the window, and he promptly alerts the Taco Bell Queen there is a psycho in her parking lot.

She disappears from the window.

A few moments later the woman reappears, only this time, she is running towards our car being chased by the Taco Bell Bum.

She begins screaming, "Call the cops! Call the cops!"

Soon, she is on one side of our car and he is on the other.

Jill and I sit scared out of our wits until the bum decides he is bored.

So it is you I remember this Holiday season, Taco Bell Bum. I hope you are warm, and well fed, and institutionalized my friend.


Happy Holidays My Friends,
XOXO
The Craziest Housewife

Shut The Front Door!

Ok guise!

So...I have no photos...for this wonderful attempt at a tutorial...because as you all know...someone broke into my house and stole all my sh*t.

So here goes nothing.

I did quite a bit of research before beginning this project because I am no DIY expert and didn't want my door to look like it had been a canvas to a two-year old.

First I found out, it's a good idea to use a drill...removing the door with a screw driver is painfully tedious.

Once the door is removed from its hinges (yes, we went an entire day without a front door) place it on two saw horses and remove the rest of the hardware such as the door knob and any deadbolts. NOTE: I feel like this step is very important because whoever had painted the door before my fabulous attempt left the hardware on, and got a ton of paint all over the knob, making it look really shabby. Once I put the knob and deadbolt back on, it really made the paint look classy.

ANYWAYS!

After removing all of the hardware, wash the door with soap and water and sand the surface smooth.
Like I said before, whoever painted my door beforehand did a terrible job and there were a ton of paint drips, so I personally had to use a heavier grit sandpaper and then finish with a fine grit to get a really smooth finish, but if your door isn't too messed up, just a quick finish with a fine grit should be fine.

The paint I chose for the door was an enamel paint...this is very important...oil-based paints are not fun to work with and they ruin paintbrushes! I asked my local Lowes Paint Expert what she recommended because I planned on doing both sides of the door. She sold me a high gloss interior / exterior enamel-based paint. Boy was she right, it came out absolutely beautiful.

When painting, I started with a 1" angled brush and painted the outer part of the squares. Then I painted the rest of the door, including the sides, using a roller. NOTE: I probably used too large of a roller, the shorter one would have worked better for what I was doing. Any thoughts on this?

I used red paint, which requires quite a few coats to get an even finish, so I did about four coats, though I still think I could have used one more.

Unfortunately, I ran out of paint after finishing the outer part of the door, so the inside awaits another weekend.

Here is the best photo I could find, courtesy of Dave Hoffman, which looks like my new front door!

Check out his blog here!

Stupid Lowlife Pieces of Sh*t That Made My Life a Living Hell

So I am sorry to say my blogging capabilities have been cut short this holiday season as some stupid lowlife pieces of sh*t decided that breaking a window and stealing over $4,000 worth of personal items was a good idea.

Needless to say I have no computer and am posting this from my phone.

I was really freaking excited to show you all my multi-holiday appropriate door too...but they also took my camera which had all of my project pictures on it.

On another note...

A conversation from the haphazardly planned party we had last night:

Me: Honey can you turn the music down a little, I feel like it might be bothering the dog.

Husband: I am surprised you care more about the dog than the baby.

Me: No one told her she had to bring a baby to a party...

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving everyone! Be thankful for all that you have because as I recently discovered...it can disappear in the blink of an eye.
XOXO
The Craziest Housewife

Senseless Ramblings by Yours Truly

It's amazing how life creates a path all its own, one that doesn't stick to the plans that you've made, one that may be, in fact, the exact opposite of what you had planned. 

I left high school determined to do something with my music, to play my viola to my heart's content. 

I changed my major to study politics, not knowing whether I wanted to be a politician, or if I simply wanted to support them. 

I then decided research was the place for me, social science research in particular.

And now...

Now I am pursuing a career which has not a damn thing to do with my degree (BA in Political Science) but which I am more excited for than I have been for any other career path before it. 

Most people think retail will get you nowhere, and in most cases, that proves to be true. Only, though, because people fail to see the potential in retail positions. 

Take me, for instance.

I started out as an ice-cream girl, and now, I'm pursuing an Account Manager position at Staples, the biggest office supply chain in the world. 

What I have learned, through all of this, is that it is not important what we want to do, or what we think we should do or will do, but what we are doing. 

The things we do each and every day are the things that are going to make our future decisions. 

Just being good at my job taught me to love it, as well as the people I work with and for, and now I have the opportunity to go even further, to become someone who I never dreamed I could be.

I have realized that I enjoy helping people (well...most people...) and that while I may not be America's #1 Car Salesman, I am great at presenting people with the best product they can possibly get for their needs. 

I have gained this, and many other skills, through years of working retail, and it, more than my education, has gotten me to where I am today, in the top 2% of my chain, with the opportunity to go corporate, for a company that treats its employees incredibly well. 

I guess...

The moral of the story is: don't worry about the future, the future will come to those who want something in life, those who work hard and persevere. 

XOXO

The Craziest Housewife

My First Post

So here I sit. My blogging cherry being popped. 

We are all moved in and I can finally begin actually DIY-ing all of those fabulous projects I've been pinning for the past year. 

I am excited to share all of these wonderful projects, here, with all of you. Among other things (thoughts on life, ridiculous customers from work, other random adventures, etc.). 

I invite you to join me as I discover the world of DIY and slowly but surely turn our "starter home" into a "Dream Home". 

Tips and tricks are always welcome and appreciated. I am no expert when it comes to painting, power tools, or plaster. Unfortunately, my only expertise in the area of DIY lies in pinning all of those amazing ideas on Pinterest, hoping one day they might become a reality. 

I can't wait to meet all of you wonderful DIYers!

XOXO

      The Craziest Housewife